Happy Mother's Day Alyson!

Typically I like to write about politics or something else that gets my attention.... Today, Mother's Day, is special. I typically don't even blog about my personal life or daily happenings of my life... But today is a special day. I am sure that everyone who reads my blog follows my wife's blog as well, so you probably at least aware of our life events these last few months.

I admire Alyson so much. A man obviously experiences emotion and sadness, but for some reason God created man to handle things and think about things differently. You might have heard about the analogy that men think in boxes while women have spaghetti brains, meaning that men think about one thing at a time while women's thoughts are intertwined and think about multiple things at once. I know this because Alyson always has two things on her mind, our precious son Jonathan and having another baby. I admire my wife.... Every morning she wakes up and takes a step forward. She focuses on the future... our family.... our dreams... our future...

I want to be a father of a child on this earth more than anything..... except for one thing.... Alyson to be a mother. One conversation that I remember when we were dating was about our individual dreams to be parents. We talked about names and about how many children we wanted. Being a mother has been Alyson's dream ever since she was a little girl. When I fell in love with Alyson I promised her that I would provide for her.... that I would always be there for her... making her dreams come true. It kills me that in everything that we have been through I can't fix or I can't make even a little better... Sure I know that is the man... the husband in me saying that, but that is how I feel. I view myself as a problem solver and I don't like having a problem that I can't find an answer to. I hate not having an earthly remedy for what we are going through.

These last few months have been a struggle. I feel like we are going through a dark tunnel but there is no end in sight... Do you know what keeps me going, beside my trust or sometimes just hope in God that He knows what He is doing? Alyson! When I hold her hand or hug her... I am no longer afraid of the dark. I get the strength to move forward because I know that I have a responsibility to guide my wife through the end of this tunnel to where we can see sunshine.... So when I think that I need to be the one who gives strength to Alyson or give her encouragement.... it is actually she who gives it to me. She gives me the strength to....... give her the strength. Is this just what marriage is supposed to be like? Is this what love is supposed to be like? I think..... yes!

Our future has so far turned out a little differently then we had planned... I remember telling Alyson all of those years back that I wanted to have four children.... Little did I know that I would have four children, but Alyson still not having a chance to experience motherhood.

So on this special day.... this good day but yet a day full of sorrow... I will be there for my lovely wife just as she is there for me. We will seek God together... We ultimately get our strength from our loving Father! Thankfully we don't have to rely upon just each other or an earthly remedy. God is our remedy.

Alyson... I love you... I adore you... I am here for you... I will always be here for you....

Happy Mother's Day, my love.